Post-Traumatic Growth

Post-Traumatic Growth: Mindfulness, Interpersonal Neurobiology, Attachment, and PolyVagal Theory, Esther Brandon

Abstract

This article explores post-traumatic growth through the interwoven lenses of mindfulness, Interpersonal Neurobiology, attachment theory, and PolyVagal Theory. Drawing on my felt experience of trauma recovery, I describe how awareness, integration, and the nervous system’s pathways of safety and protection support resilience and healing. A vignette from a coaching conference illustrates how science and felt experience meet in embodied acts of courage and presence. Returning to Jewish teachings of T’shuvah (returning) and Emet (truth/faithfulness), I reflect on how growth is sustained not only through scientific frameworks but through returning to wholeness with kindness and grace. This work is offered as a resource for people on a healing path,  coaches, and communities committed to healing in ways that honor both science and spirit.

 Introduction

Mindfulness has been a foundation in my healing journey since I first wandered into a workshop with Jon Kabat-Zinn in the mid-1970s. As he teaches, mindfulness is the awareness that arises when we pay attention — on purpose, in the present moment, and with non-judgment. Through mindfulness, I have learned to soften self-criticism, to calm my nervous system, and to gently return to presence.

This is not a way of turning from pain, but a way of meeting suffering with kindness. Each time I found the courage to turn toward my experience with that kindness, new steps slowly revealed themselves. In the trance of woundedness, we may long to open a new way — yet lack the awareness, or the skills, to do so. My own path unfolded unevenly: circling back, pausing, and moving forward again. As I named my pain, authentically and in my own time, the harsh inner voices began to quiet. In their place, space opened — for new choices, gentler self-regard, and the steadying presence of mindfulness itself.

Supported by the past~ Present in the moment~ Open to the future.

And here, the felt experience meets the science of healing.

Interpersonal Neurobiology

Interpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB), developed by Daniel J. Siegel, MD, brings together science and felt experience to show how our brains, bodies, and relationships shape one another. At its heart is integration — the process that supports well-being and resilience.

In the language of Interpersonal Neurobiology, integration is the linking of differentiated parts, as Dan Siegel reminds us. At its heart, integration means bringing together what has been disconnected. When trauma leaves us feeling disconnected from ourselves, integration gently supports the brain, body, and heart in moving toward wholeness.

Through integration, the separate parts of our system — thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations — come together to work in harmony. In relationships, integration fosters empathic connection while respecting each person’s individuality. Over time, this movement toward integration strengthens resilience and well-being.

“Integration is kindness and compassion made visible.” — Dan Siegel

Attachment and Healing

Attachment provides the early ground for integration to unfold. When caregivers create conditions of safety, attunement, and comfort, the brain and nervous system grow in healthy ways. But when there is repeated misattunement or insecure attachment, development can be disrupted, shaping our patterns of regulation, trust, and connection throughout life.

Dan Siegel’s framework of the 4 S’s of secure attachment — Safe, Seen, Soothed, and Secure — offers a way of understanding what helps us heal and thrive across the lifespan. These are not fixed outcomes of childhood but relational experiences that we can re-cultivate again and again. Neurobiology shows us that repair is possible at any time.

My parents were good and loving people, and I experienced insecure attachment. I have come to see this as part of a larger truth: the traumas carried through families can live on across generations. Healing is not a matter of willpower or logic, but a turning toward what has been carried, with courage and care. This turning is mysterious — and yet, when one person chooses this path, the possibility of healing opens for all.

Even with loving parents, insecure attachment can disrupt development, leaving a child caught between longing for connection and safety while the nervous system works to protect. To survive, we often blame ourselves, which feels safer than blaming those meant to keep us safe — yet this blame becomes the seed of shame, self-doubt, and unworthiness we carry. Healing begins when we turn toward these wounds with courage and compassion, and in doing so, open the possibility of repair for ourselves and across generations.

PolyVagal Theory

Through studying the work of Stephen Porges, PhD, and later through the accessible teachings of Deb Dana, LCSW, and Dr. Arielle Schwartz, I came to see the nervous system as a wise guide in recovery.

PolyVagal Theory helps us understand how our body’s states — safety, mobilization, or shutdown — shape our capacity to connect and heal. Research shows that our nervous system is continually scanning and perceiving cues of safety or threat, and moving between three identifiable states:

·       Ventral Vagal (parasympathetic): safety, social connection, calm

·       Sympathetic: fight, flight, or freeze responses

·       Dorsal Vagal (parasympathetic): immobilization, collapse, shutdown

With mindful attention, we can begin to notice these shifting states with kindness and self-compassion. Not with shame or blame, but with respect — and, in time, with compassion for the ways our body has carried us through.

This perspective has given me language for what I have lived: resilience grows as I learn to soothe and regulate my nervous system. In creating more space inside myself, post-traumatic growth can gently unfold.

Vignette: Raising My Hand

During a coaching conference with hundreds of participants, I felt something stir. For years, I had mentored teachers and woven adult development into leadership. Now, from the ground of my own trauma recovery, I felt called to raise my hand.

When I was called on, I spoke with clarity. I introduced myself and then, with courage, wove together adult development, trauma-informed coaching, and PolyVagal Theory. In that moment, the strands of my journey cohered into voice. The presenter received my words. The next participant even shifted his question after hearing mine. At the close, the organizer thanked the four of us who had spoken — my name among them.

And yet, when I quoted Tara Brach and felt emotion rise, I apologized. Old patterns whispered that tears were too much. Later, as I sat with the experience, I realized the story was not about the apology. The story was about raising my hand. About courage. About presence. About returning to my wholeness.

In the Jewish calendar, the month of Elul invites us into T’shuvah — the spiritual work of returning. Returning to our wholeness, to our truest selves, to the Emet of our hearts. Emet — Hebrew for truth — carries faithfulness, trustworthiness, and integrity. Its root, aman (אָמַן), means “to support, to make firm, to be faithful,” and also gives rise to amen (אָמֵן), our affirmation of what is true. Even its letters, spanning the Hebrew alphabet from beginning to end, teach that truth is enduring and all-encompassing.

That evening, in front of hundreds of faces on a screen, I caught a glimpse of such a return. For practitioners, researchers, and communities engaged in healing, such moments matter. They show us that post-traumatic growth is sustained not only through frameworks of science, but through embodied acts of courage, presence in vulnerability, and the spiritual return to truth. In vulnerability, there is strength. In emotion, there is wisdom. And in returning, we find the wholeness of our hearts.

Closing Reflection

In time, I came to see that post-traumatic growth is a heroic journey. It is not only a gentle return, but also the creation of a compassionate relationship with both sorrow and joy. Suffering, when met with healing presence, can become a gateway to love, freedom, and the deep homecoming of reconnecting with yourself.

The story I tell is the same one I carried for decades. What has changed is the voice. Where once I wrote from pain and survival, now, through trauma recovery, the story has unfolded. Today I write from the ground of agency and grace.

And so I offer these words with the hope that they may serve as a light for others who are finding their way to reclaim their voice, and in that return, reconnecting with themselves.

References

·       Boorstein, S. (1997). It’s easier than you think: The Buddhist way to happiness. HarperOne.

·       Brach, T. (2003). Radical acceptance: Embracing your life with the heart of a Buddha. Bantam.

·       Dana, D. (2018). The polyvagal theory in therapy: Engaging the rhythm of regulation. W.W. Norton.

·       Davidson, R. J. (Various lectures). Center for Healthy Minds, University of Wisconsin–Madison.

·       Hanson, R., & Hanson, F. (2018). Resilient: How to grow an unshakable core of calm, strength, and happiness. Harmony.

·       Hanson, R., & Mendius, R. (2009). Buddha’s brain: The practical neuroscience of happiness, love, and wisdom. New Harbinger.

·       Kabat-Zinn, J. (1990). Full catastrophe living: Using the wisdom of your body and mind to face stress, pain, and illness. Delacorte.

·       Kabat-Zinn, J. (1994). Wherever you go, there you are: Mindfulness meditation in everyday life. Hyperion.

·       Kabat-Zinn, J. (2005). Coming to our senses: Healing ourselves and the world through mindfulness. Hyperion.

·       Lew, A. (2007). This is real and you are completely unprepared: The days of awe as a journey of transformation. Little, Brown.

·       Neff, K., & Germer, C. (2018). The mindful self-compassion workbook. Guilford Press.

·       Palmer, P. (1983). To know as we are known: Education as a spiritual journey. Harper & Row.

·       Palmer, P. (2004). A hidden wholeness: The journey toward an undivided life. Jossey-Bass.

·       Porges, S. W. (2011). The polyvagal theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. W.W. Norton.

·       Schwartz, A. (2019). The post-traumatic growth guidebook. PESI Publishing.

·       Schwartz, A. (2020). The polyvagal theory workbook for trauma. PESI Publishing.

·       Schwartz, A. (2023). The Post-Traumatic Growth Deck: Cards to inspire growth, foster your resilience, and awaken you to your potential. PESI Publishing.

·       Siegel, D. J. (2010). Mindsight. The new science of personal transformation. Bantam Books.

·       Siegel, D. J. (2012). Pocket guide to interpersonal neurobiology: An integrative handbook of the mind. W.W. Norton.

·       Siegel, D. J. (2018). Aware: The science and practice of presence. Tarcher Perigee.

·       van der Kolk, B. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Viking.

Postscript: I also carry the guidance of Rabbi Alan Lew, z”l. His teaching presence continues to steady and inspire me. I still hold the words he once inscribed for me — peace and blessings to a new friend…