A Window Into My Story

What Is Attachment—And Why Does It Matter?

Through my own healing journey, I’ve come to understand just how profoundly our early relationships shape the way we feel, connect, and grow—throughout our entire lives.

As a child, I longed to feel emotionally safe and connected. Like many highly sensitive children, I struggled with anxiety and often felt isolated in my inner world. My mother and I shared what we now understand through the lens of neurobioilogy as an insecure attachment. While there was deep love between us, our relationship was often marked by misattunemet,and misunderstanding.

Years later, when my mother gently asked me  for forgiveness, I was able to meet her with compassion. That moment of mutual vulnerability became a turning point in my healing—a door opening toward reconciliation and a deeper sense of wholeness.

A Framework For Healing

One of my teachers, Dr. Dan Siegel of the Mindsight Institute, offered me a framework that helped me make sense of my experience. His work in Interpersonal Neurobiology introduced me to the concept of the 4 S’s of Attachment Safe, Seen, Soothed, and Secure.

These aren’t just childhood needs. They are lifelong needs. When they’re met, our nervous systems have more capacity to shift from disconnection to deeper connection. We begin to trust ourselves, relate with greater ease, and grow in our capacity to heal and thrive.

Here's a closer look at the 4 S’s:

• Safe – We feel protected—physically and emotionally. We’re not shamed, blamed, or harmed. As adults, this sense of safety allows us to express ourselves honestly and take healthy risks.

• Seen – We’re not just noticed—we’re felt, understood, and validated. This nurtures presence, belonging, and connection.

• Soothed – When our distress is met with care and responsiveness., we learn to regulate our emotions and build resilience.

• Secure – Over time, these experiences lay the foundation for an inner knowing: I am worthy. I am capable. I am loved.

I often desribe the 4 S’s , as the water and nutrients that nourish the soil in the garden of our well-being.

How This May Relate to You:

You may have found your way here because something in your life has shifted—perhaps through illness, grief, trauma, or a life transition—and you're wondering how to move forward with more clarity and compassion.

As a Post-Traumatic Growth Coach, I integrate mindfulness, somatic practices, attachment theory, and insights from Interpersonal Neurobiology and Polyvagal Theory to support you in reconnecting with your wholeness.

What I’ve learned through experience and study— is that healing and repair are possible at any time in life—

More than 35 years ago, I walked into a mindfulness workshop led by Jon Kabat-Zinn. Mindfulness became the medicine I didn’t know I needed. Later, I completed the Jewish Mindfulness Teacher Training through the Institute for Jewish Spirituality. In that sacred circle, I reconnected with the wisdom of my ancestors, deepened my healing, and experienced a felt sense of belonging.

That work extended into classrooms, where I mentored educators, as they integrated breath, movement, and mindfulness into their teaching. Today, those same tools are woven into my coaching practice.

As my journey deepened, I turned to the science of trauma and healing— studying Interpersonal Neurobiology, Integration is at the heart of Interpersonal Neurobiology. Polyvagal Theory, Befriending Our Nervous System, and the somatic work of Peter Levine. I learned that our nervous system holds the keys to transformation. When we feel safe, seen, soothed, and secure, our bodies can shift into a mode where healing and growth can begin.

Simple, short, consistent mindfulness practices helped me regulate my nervous system. Science supports what I experienced: brief moments of awareness can strengthen resilience and enhance both mental and physical well-being.

A Path Through Trauma to Growth

Then, ten years ago, a breast cancer diagnosis brought everything into a place of brokenness. Yet, in that brokeness , repair began. Held by a loving community, I felt safe and grounded. In that safety, childhood trauma memories began to surface. Grief gave way to spaciousness. Loss opened to love.

I came to see that within the wounds of my early attachment experiences were also the seeds of resilience—a fierce, compassionate kindness toward myself and others. From that strength, I learned to set clear boundaries and reclaim my sense of agency.

Now, as I continue to recover my ability to walk, each step is uncertain — yet each one is rooted in courage and strength. This is what post-traumatic growth looks like: healing,— and returning to wholeness with compassion, clarity, and courage.

—I invite you to walk this path with me— a journey of reconnection , healing, and coming home to yourself.